How are you coping with this uncertain time of forced family togetherness and COVID-19 fear? At least once an hour, my phone lights up with yet another reported case or death from my area. The daily news conferences from Washington do very little to calm my fears. Like many of you, I imagine, I am coping by eating carbs, watching movies, walking my dog, feeding my family and occasionally going through an old box looking for a memory to make me laugh, sigh, feel grateful. That’s where this gem of a story I penned as a child makes its appearance.
Please indulge me by enjoying a little glimpse in the mind of a child writer and enjoy this delightful tale I hand wrote and stapled into booklet form. I present to you for your reading entertainment, “Frankenstein Meets His Wife”:
Frankenstein was taking his pet boola boola for a walk one day and he saw the man that invented him so Frankenstein dicided (sic) to go and have a chat but it wasn’t the right man. This made Frankenstein desperate. He wanted to see Dr. Frankenstein. Every day. when monster Frankenstein took his pet boola boola for a walk he would look for Dr. Frankenstein.
A year later Dr. Frankenstein was walking on the same path that monster Frankenstein was on, they both saw each other. Dr. Frankenstein went to look at monster Frankenstein and monster Frankenstein said “you are the man I have been looking for, for one year. ” “One year” said Dr. Frankenstein. “Yes, one year,” monster Frankenstein said. “Whatever for?” said Dr. Frankenstein. “Well it gets lonely where I live,” said monster Frankenstein, “and since you did such a good job on me I thought maybe you would invent me a wife.”
“Well I’m very flattered,” said Dr. Frankenstein, “and since you’ve been looking for me for a year she will be ready in one month.”
The days were long for monster Frankenstein and a week went by like a century. But finally the month was up. Frankenstein the monster was so excited he bought her a dress.
Dr. Frankenstein called monster Frankenstein and said “today is the day.” “Oh goody goody,” said monster Frankenstein. So monster Frankenstein went to meet his wife. “Her name is Bertha,” said Dr. Frankenstein. “I love you,” monster Frankenstein said. “Bertha, I love you,” said monster Frankenstein. “Thank you,” Dr. Frankenstien said.
“Let’s go home, Bertha. I have a surprize (sic) for you,” monster Frankenstein said. When they got home, Bertha said, “Where is my surprize (sic)?” “Right here,” said monster Frankenstein. “Oh, I love it,” Bertha said. “Go try it on,” monster Frankenstein said, “while I get out some beer.”
A few minutes later Bertha came back out and said, “Frankenstein, I only ask one favor.” “What is it, my dear?” Frankenstein said. “Get me a new dress, this one is about 10 sizes too small!”
And thus ends the beginning of the passionate love affair between monster Frankenstein and his newly created wife, Bertha. You are welcome.