This past weekend, Valentine’s Day came and went but this year there is “something extra” to celebrate: contentment. Contentment is a place available to anyone yet so often missed in our human desire to achieve “just one more goal.” Simply stated, my husband’s words in this year’s Valentine capture the essence: “I’m only where I am in this sweet time of life because of you.” If this is not what every life partner would love to hear I don’t know what is. Obviously, together we navigated to our current state of contentment.
There have been years of the journey that felt like I was standing still while my family steadily moved outward into the world. I felt resentment and weathered a constant internal dialogue wrongly asserting I had no ambition, was not worth much since my resume and LinkedIn were a bit of a hot mess. At 60, I clearly see I chose a life without metrics of success: no big paycheck, bonus, awards, promotions, certifications or other external markers of success and advancement. I have invested every year of this sweet life in creating a harmonious home. I said it and wrote it and lived it – call me a 1950’s housewife if you wish. I’m humbled by and proud of my life choices and I think there are two additional souls wandering this Earth who are living to their fullest capacity because I spent years quietly and steadfastly standing still while they grew.
In the past 6 months, I have watched my children soar in adulthood, both confidently making choices that align with their wishes and values. There has been grief for me, unquestionably, and terrible fear that the best part of my life has ended. I’m getting support to chart the next chapter for myself but oh my, this beautiful time demands a pause to soak in and enjoy its full meaning.
It is not truthful that, because I have no career to point to, I have wasted any time. I got sober in my fifties, a hard won battle that I openly let my family witness (and support). This is not nothing! My children learned by watching my journey to sustained sobriety that sometimes people need to be vulnerable in order to grow. Setbacks are merely “repositioning points” in life and from anywhere you can choose to move forward. What’s important is the love we discover, nurture, embrace and share. And yes, it’s messy sometimes. I really hope my life has modeled “progress over perfection” for my loved ones. It takes courage to show discomfort and fear and this gets no easier, I am learning, as we age.
So, hello 60, it is wonderful to meet you. To arrive at this place with contentment is the greatest joy imaginable. My people will continue to be my metrics of success – but I plan to do a little less “standing still” this decade!
Cheeky Street 